


It’s for the universe

by QueenLaura



Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Again, Character Study, I got wine drunk and wrote this, I’m drunk, Kinda, Other, TW: Suicide, Timeline destruction, its dark but it’s not well written, the kill your double idea
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-27
Updated: 2020-01-27
Packaged: 2021-02-27 13:35:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 655
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22427932
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/QueenLaura/pseuds/QueenLaura
Summary: I got wine drunk (and still am) and wrote a dark character study. What if the doctor didn’t want to exist anymore. What if her past self gave her the perfect opportunity to ensure she never did?
Comments: 1
Kudos: 24





	It’s for the universe

The first thing they teach you in the academy is to never in any circumstances meet your past self. Or your future self. Or anyone that had the potential to trample all over your pristine path through time and space. The Doctor knew this was a lesson she’d ignored many a time at the expense of her timeline, which she could tell was far from golden and perfect. She wondered if this new her could feel how positively disgusting her timeline was, all curled around her and knotted and broken in all the wrong places. She hated how it wrapped it’s golden tendrils around the innocent humans she traveled with and dragged them into the cosmic cataclysm of her life. 

“How dare you” The blonde advanced on her other self, sonic raised like a weapon the other doctor would so freely use. Perhaps she didn’t have the moral high ground anymore. Perhaps she never did. 

_It’s for the universe_

This version of the doctor should not exist. Can’t exist. Everything was so wrong and disgusting and made her heart beat twice as fast until she could hear the blood rushing through her ears and drowning out the other doctor.

_ In the academy they had told her how to destroy a timeline before it even had a chance to start with a quiet warning not to ask again the promise she’d use it for good. She supposed this would be for good anyway. Maybe this memory was locked away for a reason. But if it was then this must surly be why it unlocked in the first place.  _

In a millisecond she fired the sonic at her other self, and remembered her own words to Yaz what felt like millennia ago 

_ “It’s a sonic, it unlocks things” _

Her sonic wasn’t just unlocking something. It set to work unraveling the timeline set in front of them. Ripping it apart like cheap fabric and leaving it dull and blooded and turning to dust around them.

The surrounding judoon had lowered their weapons in confusion and even the lone time lord (oh what was her name again? The doctor concluded it was unimportant) stepped back in shock that the doctor could do such a heinous act to herself. This was murder on a cosmic scale, or would it be ruled as suicide in the end? If anyone even remembered that it happened.

_And it’s for Gallifrey_

She could feel the ever spiralling universe slowing in the back of her mind. Restoring itself. She could feel Gallifrey pulling itself out of its ashes into glory. No Doctor meant no Master, or at least a calmer Master, a Master without a partner in crime. No Master meant that no one destroyed her home. She could feel the pull go further back to the time war, a different world without her in it. She felt too dizzy to let her mind keep swirling out like it was. Briefly she thought about her companions, the little humans that would forget her in a moment. She hoped they’d be happy without her.

She noticed how suicide doesn’t exactly feel like suicide when you have to kill someone else to achieve it. Aiming the sonic was so easy. Pressing the button and hearing the scream after was simple. The moments that came next were not unexpected in the slightest.

In an instant searing white hot pain was pouring though her body and burning through her veins. No one had ever told her how it felt to unravel completely. Like every muscle in her body was trying to rip itself away from the others at once and a burning sensation that made her scream in pain as the golden threads of reality ripped themselves backwards until they’d never existed at all.

Finally she released the burden of the doctor from the universe before she’d even started and the sonic clattered to rest on an empty floor.


End file.
